incorrectmerlinquotes:

Arthur: Maybe my father was wrong. Maybe sorcery isn’t all evil. Don’t you have anything to say about magic, Merlin?

Merlin:

deasn:

incorrect-marvel:

haiku-robot:

incorrect-marvel:

Thor, approaching Steve: I have a question.

Thor: *holding up a US map* So, I am confusion. Why is this one Kansas, and this is not Ar-Kansas?

Steve: I-

Thor: America, EXPLAIN! Explain, what do you mean it’s Ar-Can-Saw?

thor: america

explain explain what do you

mean it’s ar-can-saw

---

^Haiku^{^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.}

Most of you are welcome, friendly Human®. | PayPal | Patreon

Haiku bot strikes again!

… Is it really pronounced Ar-Can-Saw??? @tess-l3 D:

YES! THIS PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH! WHY IS IT Can-zas BUT Arc-en-saw?!?!

wethinkwedream:

wethinkwedream:

ok universe, i’m ready to feel good things. make me feel good things.

whenever i post this it works 
reblog if u want to feel good things & the universe will bring u something sweet 

accio-shitpost:

best unloved characters from the harry potter universe: those bulgarians who tricked fudge into thinking they couldnt speak english for months

paper-mario-wiki:

lukehemminngs:

you’ve all heard of golden retriever’s now get ready for 

Golden Shepherd - a mix breed between a German Shepherd and a Golden Retriever 

“Golden Shepard” is a weird way to spell “Perfect Little Boy Who Has Stolen My Heart And Granted Me Peace”

blvnk-art:

sometimes Bill pops up in my head, it happens.

here some headcanon

• He assisted his mother giving birth to his 6 siblings
  
• Yes he was only 2 yo when Charlie was born but that didn’t stop him
• His siblings take his words into consideration better than their parents’
• “but Bill said this is lame so leave it”, said Fred and George once. “If Bill isn’t going to sleep, I am not going to sleep too!”, said Ginny once. “no, I’m actually going to sleep, Ginny.” “prove it!” he then proves it.
• He’s very smart so he was a great help during his siblings’ basic education: how to do math, to write, to read. he even tought a 2 yo Ron how to make sandwiches
• Bill was an example for his brothers and sister to not complain about their parents financial reality.
• “shut up you little shits there are people in worse situation and you won’t see them whining about it.”
• When Bill went to Egypt, they missed him so much but that didn’t stop them from exchanging brief letters. “Bill, mum is really pissed off, please send help.”
• Next morning, Molly and Arthur receive a mail from Egypt and she’s all smiling again, distracted with whatever Bill’s got for her
• Bill is like very chill. Someone stole his golds from work? It’s all good, I’ll bring six times more next time. Got attacked by Fenrir Greyback? That was just a scratch.
• When Fleur asked him to help with her English, he said. “I won’t teach you grammar and all this bullshit. let’s have dinner and talk.” that’s how he effortlessly, smoothly went out with Fleur Delacour.

blvnk-art:

Ron Weasley after the war:

- wins the most difficult wizard chess championship around the world

- wins a big prize 💰

- donates to a charity that Hermione is responsible for and invests the rest of the money on George

- he’s considered the best player in the wizarding world for many years

- he says he just plays for fun but he’s unbeatable

- once Scorpius played against Ron during christmas and Rose and Albus asked him to let Ron win because Scorpius was closer to a check mate

- Scorpius didn’t let him win

- Ron respected him

deasn:

fargoniac:

inspacewereallaustralians:

coolnerdynursingstudent:

no-butigotcheezwhiz:

thesketcherlass:

tinysquidrachel:

swordwall:

small-home-repair-vikings:

spooky-son-of-rome:

carpebutts:

whisperwhisk:

seananmcguire:

snowysauropteryx:

Genetics: Do not. Unless cheek swabs?

Chemistry: NO!!!!! DO NOT!!!!!!

Archaeology: Perhaps. But might be human bone.

Geology: Sometimes needed, sometimes dangerous 

Psychology: Best not.

Physics: ????????? How??????

Zoology: In zoology, science licks you. 

Anthropology: Maybe ask first.

Herpetology: bad plan bad plan BAD PLAN

Sociology: Yes, if you have time and dedication and a willingness to piss a lot of people off.

Botany: You might hallucinate or die, OR it might be delicious

Computer Science: the tingle of electricity on your tongue is how you know it’s working

Epidemiology: FOR THE SAKE OF THE WORLD PLEASE DO NOT

Linguistics: Despite the name, please probably don’t.

Engineering: Maybe, but it’ll probably taste like spreadsheets 

Software engineering: nothing else has made the code work so you might as well try it

Neuroscience: that is someone’s brain. no. do not

Marine biology: you can try, but you’ll probably just get a mouthful of seawater

Astronomy: look, if your dedication to lick Uranus is what it takes get humankind to another planet, then so be it

HALSAKAJKAKSK

Reblogging purely for that last one.

Just imagine how we tell our tale of landing in another system to aliens:

Alien: so why did humanity get out here so quickly? Surely theres more Important things needing to be done on earth?

Human: well you see davw an i made a drunken bet that i could never lick an alien. So i wanted to win the bet. Im so sorry about this…

Alien: HUMAN NO STOP

I’ve only seen this fabled post in screenshots

@tess-l3 sto morendooo

jumpingjacktrash:

drowsy-shipper:

lumemegi:

nevui-penim-miruvorrr:

imagine-charizards:

decodethefallenmoon:

antikoreaboo:

eo-akes:

ablacknation:

You don’t have to be black, it just means you support us, you stand by us and you’re for us.

100%

200%

Someone who’s black or supports black people and their human rights. it literally says that in the description. “You don’t have to be black, it just means you support us, you stand by us and you’re for us.” 

Why the fuck does this not have more notes wtf.

300%

10000%

900,000,000,000,000,000,000,000%

i gotcher back

We’re not bruised,
they’re just party tattoos
And the colorful mess
Is just colorful regret
Black lipstick will never be a sin
We’ll regret it when we’re old
with wrinkled up skin
-dodie, Party Tattoos